>> sean: that's all the time we have left this evening in the meantime greg gutfeld standing by thank you for being with us have a great night happy

thursday everyone everyone has been asking what i did on my vacation and the theories were floated that it was not really a vacation at all that it was some sort of forced leave of absence nothing could be further from the truth here's a little montage i put together of all the things i did on my week off roll it.

>> greg: i don't like to talk about my volunteer work what you forced my hand up to glad i was able to share with all of you let's get to some jokes and a video went viral this week of a dog in florida who was born with limegreen for when asked why the dog had green for his breeder replied that means he is not right yet joe biden once again he claimed he used to drive 18 wheelers he is right, here it is in a devastating tree virus threatening the world supply of chocolate not on my watch said one former official in a pork near stockholm swedish customs officials have seized one point for tons of cocaine meanwhile

one american is applying for a job because of sweden's customs official today is it national take our daughters and sons to work day which has to be awkward if you work at planned parenthood thank you. >> welcome back. >> greg: a kidney from a pig transplanted into a deathly ill new jersey woman and began working almost instantly scientists say that piggott kidney felt quite at home in the new body never fails one of harvey weinstein's felony sex crime convictions was just overturned by new york's highest court which can only mean one thing he is a democrat drew carey says he would stick his genitals in a blender to see another fish concert in las vegas which is weird just buy a

ticket that's what normal people do according to a new survey most parents experience isolation and loneliness and burnout as a result of the demands of parenthood which is why i visit my kids as little as possible said one father. >> i was waiting for that one. >> greg: whatever happened to white supremacy? remember when the number 1 domestic threat for the nation was ethnically motivated to violent extremist advocating for the superiority of the white race? the good old days. it turns out the number 1 threat to us and biden's presidency is a teleprompter the party that props up its desiccated end a raid reader when you think about the crowds currently fighting cots in the streets and

buttoning white jewish students and keeping them from simply attending school we realize these are not the white supremacists that we were promised the white sheets have been replaced by a black ski masks and balaclavas for one feel cheated is insurrection affirmative action they're taking all the races to jobs without even trying but i guess when they said celebrate diversity they meant among bigots as well and they are bigots all right except with brand-new tents who is paying for all of these? how did they get them there so quickly? do their parents work for dick's sporting goods? did they just loot a bass pro shop? are these kids using the cash they stole from us by shirking their student loans know someone is funding them and that someone is a nice way of saying democrats and no one is happier about it then hamas this week a

senior hamas leader pledge support to protesters calling for the escalation of their struggle what is the party of hate do now as the democrats claim the greatest threat to democracy is trump an evil white supporters the most vocal inspired part of their base has gone full nazi i leave for one weekend everything goes to [ bleep ] our campuses are occupied streets are overrun with wild eyed jew haters jesse has been using my office to apply body spray joe biden says his uncle was eaten by cannibals i guess unlike the dems they find value in white meat and it's only gaining steam democratic senate leader and shamus bandura chuck schumer found his house surrounded by an anti- israel mom demanding a gaza cease-fire i don't recall the same crowds

out of the streets on october 7th when 1400 israeli civilians were raped and kidnapped and murdered thank you but in their defence may be they were holding out for the pretense what did chuckie see when he looked out his window that night? it was not a crowd that looked like a dave matthews concert know this looks more like the mayhem he and his fellow dems have helped create in our cities but even more diverse she pushed group identity and now a group identity is pushing back this was a perfect der mob it looks like the floor of the democratic national convention all marching against israel and supporting hamas a state department sponsored terrorist organization and let's be clear this crowd is not just anti- israel when you hear screaming i am hamas and it forming a rugby line to block jews trying to get to class we are well past that be where kids it's getting so we won't be able to call trump support is nazis

anymore if you make it too obvious but what's new this time around is combining anti-semitism with all of the difficult aggressive tropes the left reveres today if you support israel you must also be pro- american racist patriarchal transphobic monster the progressive chickens have come home to roost as israel prepares to enter rafah and the reaction here grows more extreme the democrats expect all of us to share this risk and to do the heavy lifting which republicans are fine with me because this does need to end but you have to ask yourself what if a republican were in charge say a certain guy with a reddish glow and hair that is somewhere between around the sun the parallelogram would the democrats help trump? no, they would be attacking the

white house like their joe biden's dogs the democrats would simply fan the flames and the media will ignore it like american hostages held by hamas but now it is today good old jell-o and the white house will continue to do nothing because everything joe does do turns to [ bleep ] the border the economy grammar could he's in action be a caller issue that the prism of identity collapses when the victim is white? but there is one bright spot here the theory of white supremacy has been debunked by jill biden's presidency alone tonight's guest inmates get to call their kids more than he does actor writer and comedian jamie liz al this jesus also got famous in his thirties host of

the grip report cannibals look at her and say pass new york times best-selling author and fox news contribute or cat to and he once picked up a haunted house just to lift your spirits near terms best-selling author canadian and former world champion jamie good to see you when you look at these protests do you think that's what the crowd looks like? >> i do. >> why do you come on? >> it's good to be back i was so looking forward to trashing you i feel like we just started and my feelings about her three times already there's another reason i'm not going to send my kids to columbia stores like this i don't think they're smart enough either and i can't afford it but by the way is it

possible, did you see those tenants? who is sponsoring this? is it possible that columbia university is associated with columbia the outdoor gear company? may be they stand to profit, i don't know did you see the one i think some of these kids don't even know why they are out there they're just following the crowd because my son said i want to go to columbia and i said why you don't ever go to class you not in class but it's like the one i dunno you saw the clip they go to this girl and say what specifically are you protesting and she says you know it's about do you know what we're protesting, she asked her friend it's insane i remember i'm glad you didn't show her face because i felt bad for the girl permanent because they're just young, iron member being a protest at school and what if i had been honest and they said were you doing out here and i said i'm here to meat girls, that's why i'm here, screw palestine i'm here for the free

and the only way i think that columbia will be able to get i like to give you a joke to edit out very early in the show. >> you said it's free but there's no free lunch son. >> i think they have to worry about graduation rates those they have to make it so you can major in protesting that's the solution they're like i'm captain me this is my senior thesis. >> greg: and then they won't study, they won't do it. >> major in protesting minor in spoiled childhood. >> greg: well put whatever your name is why is it that no one is talking about the tense? why is it driving me crazy? that's all i can see are these really nice tents that i never had i used to camp at times in the backyard. >> the reason why i'm broke is because of amazon i swear i think the kids are getting them

from amazon because how are they getting there so fast? only basil's can deliver that fast that's my guess the chant -- >> that merit badge came out and i was good. >> i'm on the protesters side because i have a list at the five list of the worst thanks in the world and university is that like fighting for number 1 so now that i see classes being disrupted i'm like oh this is a good opportunity to stop indoctrinating children for marxism because of their in the classroom actually damn if there in the protest there being inducted into our -- marxism. >> greg: what's your take on

this? where the tense coming from? >> i also have an honest answer obviously anti- semitism disgusting hamas disgusting and i'm not talking about the road blocking or physical violence but just do need to remind everyone that hate speech is still free speech i got one person out there. >> to waiters. >> governor abbott cheated -- tweeted, saying these protesters belong in jail the student should be expelled or go to jail and no actually as disgusting as it is it's way scarier for the government to have the right to tell you what you can and can't say if you can do the anti-semitism and go to jail same for sex or transphobia or whatever the government says qualifies as racism or sexism or transphobia there are some videos that were posted at least in the texas protester they appear to be confronting people

in open areas protesting peacefully and that east verified people can watch the video for themselves will based on his tweet he didn't say that he was talking about people blocking traffic or khaki specifically just said expressing anti- semitism and you can say there's a double standard when it comes to speech about jewish students on campus but i'm not going to respond that buy myself being a hypocrite so i'm just going to say consistently first amendment absolutist no matter how reprehensible the speeches we have to stop being tempted to allow the government to have control over what we can or can't say. >> greg: good point tyrus but i go back to the central thing of once you interfere with other people's lives it's not protest. >> to be clear i did distinguish but what i was saying that's not it.

>> and kat is 100 percent right in her analysis of that but when you step on the school campus there's a code of conduct that you agree to when you accept a scholarship or except to play ball or whatever there are certain rules you have to abide by and when they are, there's a difference between making your judgement views heard and spewing threatening i am hamas that's a different thing then saying the worst things you heard we have to get back to the grammar of the very argument of this is ignorant hamas is not a proxy for palestine hamas is the government body of palestine so when they invaded on october 7th that was palestine invading israel it's their government you can't say the government of america invaded mexico, no america, we already started this and then the pro hamas there's no pro i think i've said it and now zoom you're

either in or out of her saying that you are hamas then you are taking responsibility for their terrorist actions so i don't understand win someone, if you have a terrorist that comes out in broad daylight to say i am hamas arrested them for copping to being part of a terrorist organization that currently we are they still have our hostages it would make sense to arrest all of the eye am hamas and say, hey, palestine we have 600 of your hamas soldiers were willing to trade them for our hostages but there's a big difference between saying i am hamas in protesting and chanting is a big difference but one the line is drawn to where you are claiming to be a terrorist organization all bets are off. >> but a very clear danger here and i want to be quick about this when you have these protests specifically like in

texas there's an opportunity for people who are not of the university to embed themselves into the ground and that presents a huge danger to people under think that's. >> pamphlet protesters. >> governor abbott said in before that he supports free speech on college campuses and he should stand by that. >> greg: all right jamie that's directed to you, up next to the cable news hacks bit behind trumpet tax.

>> greg: according to put a go several prominent and tired trump talking heads and legal analysts have held weekly off the record zoom calls to discuss the four presidents latest twist and turns in his legal saga and also the best spots to get their

backs waxed every friday they meet on zoom and intellectually stress test the arguments facing trump not that different from watching the view i guess except minus the intellectual part in the 12:00 pm feeding time at the view when the audience tosses sardines into the panelists pie holes some group members would describe themselves with any partisan or ideological liens of most united by their dislike of trump meaning there are no different from what you see on legacy media thank of this as a weekly circle jerk where needy never trevor's can get their story straight before trashing him on cnn them cnn them is to be see it's a training camp for people dreaming of nodding obediently to joint read like a bobble head in the category client hurricane including such noticeable roles as john dean lawrence tribe and bill kristol sounds like an all hands on deck approach keep him where we can

see him jeffrey we're just talking about is it sad that jeffrey toobin no matter what will be known for whacking off on the zoom call. >> no you gotta put him next to diddy. >> what's happening in your life that you're sitting in front of the computer you're whacking off with the zoom call i don't even know how that happens especially when you are someone of his stature you should be able to go to a foreign country get as much nokias you need need come back home via civilized human being i have no remorse for him he will always be known as tacky toobin and will just leave it at that but as far as his whole trump

situation goes i think what it's about is slowing them down making sure that he can't campaign i'm looking forward to ai trump i want to cai trump and virtual trump style finally did something remote the other day i'm looking forward to see how he manages the campaign trail without actually being present in a way i think that all of this stuff makes him bigger and invigorates the base to go out and vote it's going to backfire in the long run. >> it did something where he went and talked to construction workers they were all happy to see him he was actually able to kind of like jujitsu what they call that they use your aggression against you. >> i don't know and i don't think you do. >> aikido. >> greg: it gives insight i think these court cases are a deflection from us being able to witness through the media by disintegration don't look at the dying man look at the man on trial. >> i think aiko chambers of any

kind or a bad thing and i feel like a call like this could be totally fine if these people are then also opening themselves up to listening to other opinions which i would be shocked if they were like to not listen to anyone's opinion first when i think about something i look at the bill and then i think what bout would be glad to say about it because what you get if you don't is all these people many of whom are people that are on the zoom call running around being like i don't get how anyone could support trump and i'm like well have you asked anybody? there's a lot of places you can listen to and read people telling you why they do that's where it gets harmful and also that information can be valuable to have they just don't have any interest in it. >> greg: wood you like to hear that call tyrus. >> no i would hang up you know how and win people call me to team up on people i just hang out on my own team i don't need anybody, listen when you're telling the truth you don't need

to meet it's very simple this is an hard when you all have to get together to collaborate a story that should be saved for like guys night out they got weird and we ended up waking up underneath a bar at a strip club and all the married guys like listen we need to get together we gotta figure this out no stones unturned, that's the only time that many guys should get together to come up with a plan they have to collaborate their lives you shouldn't have to that's the pathetic news of it all and also if you look at every guy on that magnificent reason to date the other side everyone of them has been bested or barrister beaten by president trump they all sit in their little group talking about ways to get him and as far as the campaign trail stay exactly where you are this is the one time we want that 3:00 am to

each step outside that courthouse that's all the campaigning you need to do [ bleep ] that gag order come get him, when that judge is stuck right now like any real parent knows you lay the line out in the child said now what you can incarcerate them? we find him? no matter which way you move the american people will be like i can relate to that. >> sean: you can relate to this story because zoom is the only you get to see your children. >> that's true. >> greg: the audience is turning on me had a feeling sorry for you. >> it feels good it feels good i was saying hello to my sound that it hadn't seen a man he tried to skip the intro

surprisingly when i saw the story i was like i'm not that internet wait a second jeffrey two and was there the masturbating guy how hard is it he's working for cnn thing they did the masturbation thing and they fired him for keeps popping out how good is this guy as a correspondent that he just gets to keep, they're like is there anyone that wasn't masturbating on camera? now okay i guess bringing jeffrey to ben like he somehow keep if you read the very end of this article they got into some very detailed, i guess they start every meeting they go jeffrey were starting were starting the meeting and then they say the meeting will be finished when jeffrey is nothing is off the record nothing off the record. >> is very alarming how many different stories you can make about masturbation. >> it's a lot.

>> greg: and the best part is the proof that where in this simulation his name is toobin, how can you it's like david packer is now in the news. >> and weiner. >> weiner is in a crazy i don't know. >> i always assume every things off the record if i'm watching porn i look into the camera and say this is the cost of them talking about. >> greg: i have to move onev biden wante' your votes wood stl reach prompter notes.

>> greg: from joe biden whose latest speech was riddled with more errors than an e-mail cent by a nigerian prince here he is

struggling with a prompter and reading the stage direction. >> president joe biden: the most significant investment in climate ever doing lots of it, four more years, paused [ chanting ] >> president joe biden: are you ready to choose freedom over democracy? [ cheering and applause ] >> greg: is to be harmless and sad if it was just an old fart at the home office thinking he was at home depot asking where they keep the bolts entwined but he's not he's the president this is a guy you can't make a speech unless there is the presidential helicopter in the background that's why they have a helicopter going even when he's travelling by car so now does the welfare make sense if these bogus cases didn't exist against trump the media have no choice except to cover the mental

decline of the leader of the free world the president of the united states in cognitive freefall as war rages the world stood we did double cope napping and core the dance of the media creating the perfect distraction to carry them to november ignoring him slowly dying right in front of our eyes well persecuting the opponent to them it's all worth it into their credit is diabolically genius it's almost ashamed that joe is too far gone to appreciate it i'll be more in favour of showing the videos when he gets one right while coming to work to discuss when he gets it right all ceiling about six months they're not gaffes anymore stop calling it a gaffe that's not a gaffe this dude literally said pause and in one of the speeches

he said we can't be trusted he's telling the truth grandpa is checked out listen he couldn't get a job in radio if you read the adds pause stop repeat he would get fired you be like this is the worst radio reed ever but he can be president. >> he couldn't work at a department store he couldn't be a cashier or one of those people that holds a sign outside the store. >> he couldn't make last call it a bar. >> greg: he could maybe be the guy in front of the car the big inflatable. >> do you think he has that kind of flexibility? >> i wish there was a name for those guys. >> the only job he's qualified for is president of united states.

>> you're so right this is the best of the best tyrus is so right imagine how long it would take him to assemble a nonblooper reel do you know when the crowd was chanting four more years biden had just asked what's the longest you think i will live? wait for laughter. >> greg: that should be on your tombstone. >> i kinda want to piggyback off of that because now i'm getting visuals of people handling biden off-camera what is that job like? like he got out of the diaper get them and he's looking back like what you doing? was that like?

i do want to say as the official di of the show that. >> whoa whoa you stepping on some serious lines here there's only one for one. >> i just want to make all the white people in the crowd clear black people ain't voting for biden this year i can't do nothing about the older ladies though there too far gone. >> greg: we move on up next are you a racist wine?

>> now clear is racist, to california state politicians democrat republican banned the expedited airport security

screening clear saying it is an equity issue dividing people into the hands and have-nots since fliers who can afford the $180 annual fee can skip lines while others who cannot afford it cannot the call this thinly veiled racism if that's the case could you not argue that first-class, business class, ultram suites any kind of upgrade club memberships all of these are the same. >> yes, but also clear socks every single time i get selected for a random id check it's not random and also i've been flying all over my tour and i have not gone through the clear line once because it's always longer than the red jewel tsa precheck line that is still government to try to tackle something it's already over it sucks nobody that line is not a good line to be and get with that government. >> it does depend its weird that do you use clear or not. >> yes, they definitely use clear i have tsa clear because like you said it's kind of hit

or miss but sometimes i feel like the response to this is racist because i worked my black ass off to get clear i get to the airport i put my nose up in the air as i'm walking over to clear like look at you people you can afford clear they scan my eyes from my client and all of that and i pass right through but i'm like what you doing in taking this away? this is what i thought for i work hard for this you taking this away i don't like this at all. >> they need to be a situation he free people who are debugging to afford nice things that don't know what they call that jamie did they have clear for the greyhound bus? >> that's six jamie, if we get to ten everyone gets free chick-fil-a.

>> i can't afford the greyhound bus i do feel like for 180 bucks i think it's a low price to feel superior they were saying like you're rich if you have that and i was like this is the only thing that i have people think i'm rich? when clear came out i texted you and i said can i borrow hundred and $80 in that same day also i don't think that much money think about airports, that's the same price as a bottle of water and a bag of unshelled pistachios at the airport. >> not even unshelled just the ones you can't even open. >> i heard someone say this is dystopian and i said does dystopian mean super convenient? because that's what it feels like to me. >> tyrus is this banking on the left wing ideology of it in the if i can't have it neither can you. >> no this is gavin newsom did

this listen i also walked through i'm clear precheck i enjoy it i love seeing the people every week at the little clear and i don't do the eyes i don't trust anyone i get the finger prints and that's it because i know those are in the system i get through their there's a line on precheck to fields right in every once in a while i see a general border like i turned my children the other way of lao it is acting up on like you want to be like that? you want to be general? when i say do your homework you can end up in that long line with a bunch of those losers i love clear i got an award for like favourite passenger for clear so i love clear. >> i'm on the other list apparently. >> but working to talk to all work out for you. >> they're also saying no one should cut in line and then what about all of the illegals coming into like. >> they're cutting some serious

lines his appearance simple communism we know it's an angry lady tried to trick clear they always get caught right when they're about to get and then how i'm a complain to my friend gavin. [ simultaneous talking ] >> gavin doesn't have to worry about any flying he flies private it's just the politician who gets to cut in line. >> i don't need clear i have aio >> they're asked for britt

>> i guess we should cover this kind of tailor-made for our show we would be remiss if we were to ignore this sort of thing. >> greg: why we are forcing you to watch this interview that appears morgan did with crack at barney the anti- israel check that accosted alec boulton at a coffee shop. >> what you did to alec baldwin can you explain why you did this. >> what i do to alec baldwin? did you see the damage that alec did to me? did you see the damage look at my arm look at my arm peers look at my neck i was maimed by a white man on monday i was maimed my hand is broken my neck is

broken look at my legs my legs don't work look at this peers pierce so you another white devil don't do this to me appears it's too early in the morning peers it's too early. >> your weight came off. >> is not a wig it's my hair i identify as a white woman. >> greg: i know it or thinking, she made some good points she won me over with its too early in the morning i'm beginning to think this is an act. >> my family be bugging sometimes that's my and were both in show business and everything and love the lady that was one of the best skits ever fully support her i saw

when she came after alec baldwin she did the whole thing and when i saw this i was like this is a great connection this is june in performance art this lady is going places i love it. >> greg: at first i thought that what you did to alec baldwin was amazing in the sense that she made to him sympathetic to me i felt bad for him now i'm like what the hell she has worked the system perfectly. >> yes. >> greg: i feel you disagree. >> yes normally when i have another brother on the show i do everything i can to get along but i'm mad that he didn't just turn it off hilarious but unfortunately in the times we are in now it is never fine to have someone white face on or black based on because it's not that what she is clearly roll she is trying to capitalize were opening attention and the people that see that and then they have someone come on in blackface try

to be a fake protester and then that's when it's we have to stop allowing one to do it or we have to be cool with everyone doing it and we can't just be she didn't need the white face to be ridiculous she had ridiculous en bloc. >> greg: peers does no good tv he have two know what he was getting into. >> i feel like i know this is not the point but i just really would like to hear from whoever had to make her up for that interview where did they attached the earpiece to her diaper? >> my god her name is crackhead barney is that her name? >> yes. >> it wasn't that your name jamie? >> yes, but without barney i heard a bunch of crackheads were like a don't miss ribs and does like this i'm always very

suspicious of anyone with one crotch she had just one crotch. >> that's true it's easy just one. >> and there's always two of them of that together. >> greg: and they always like can you help me with my bag to my car and then they take out the little smelling thing and they put on your face and then you wake up buried. >> and in the video you can see of alec baldwin she's yelling at him and he knocks the phone out of her hand second no look and i was like wow he's so good at that because he does it 20 times per day that's his life. >> i don't think should be on >> i don't think should be on the show we will be right back

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[ applause ] >> trace: it's 11:00 pm the east coast, 8:00 here in los angeles and this i